Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

The Town of Laurel Park wishes to increase the amount residents will pay for water and sewer by about $5.65 per month. The town is merely passing to consumers a five-cent rate increase from the City of Hendersonville, which supplies the water. The remainder of proceeds will go toward improving infrastructure at the storage facility.

It makes the head itch to consider why Evil Asheville is in troubs and awaiting the seizure of its water system for issuing a vain threat to raise water rates; when it is copacetic for others, who would share the spoils of Asheville’s utility, to jack up the rates.

Not All Who Govern Are Lost

The small town of Mills River made news recently for a proposed tax hike to cover the cost of a new park. The town is suffering a $25,981 deficit. Mayor Roger Snyder and Councilwoman Shannon Gonce did not dig that scene.

“I’m trying to look after the people here,” said Gonce. “Not everybody in town can enjoy these services we’ve put in place [referring to the park]. We’ve got to do what rich people do and take it out of our savings. I don’t think we should be going to the people for all these things.”

Change

A recent reval in Murphy assessed 34,000 homes, and determined they had, on average, lost about 27% of their value.

Connect the Dots, La La La

Asheville protest personality Lisa Landis complained to the Buncombe County Commissioners today about being unjustly arrested. She had been marching down the highway, covering a rally as a citizen reporter. But seriously, communist rallies are like vice trades. If you remove the reporters, spies, sting operators, infiltrators, and social psychologists – who’s left?

On a segue perceptible if you don your aluminium cap, County Manager Dr. Wanda Greene announced tonight that crime would increase to justify the new addition to the county jail. Watchdog Jerry Rice asked if the chicken or the egg came first.

Seeing Is Believing

Amazingly, the media has paid attention to an item on the Consent Agenda for the monopartisan Buncombe County Commissioners. One got the sense even the commissioners paid the bimonthly printout no mind.

Up for consideration is a $2 million loan for Mountain Housing Opportunities to help build community, affordable housing, historic sense of place – you know – at Eagle Market Place. As usual, the taxpayer loan will be on much more favorable terms than those available from private enterprise lenders.

MHO, which actually has a lot of nice people working for it, has long had a reputation for receiving the lion’s share of the City of Asheville’s Housing Trust Fund. (Memory likely fails, but it seems the assertion was recently “refuted” with data that supported it.) MHO also has a long list of public and private partners. The organization collects funds to avail mortgages, rentals, and home repairs at below-market rates.

Eagle Market Place is the newest grand scheme for revitalizing The Block. The Block is touted as an historically significant goldmine of African-American heritage. Folks have been trying to redevelop it with government aid for a couple decades, now. According to the local daily:

There have been several failed efforts over the years to build a large development with housing on The Block. Some died because of disagreement in the neighborhood, others because of economic factors.

Memory and documentation indicate there was a lot more drama. If you want your head to spin, do check out a 2004 article from the Mountain Xpress, by Stuart Gaines, entitled, “Nightmare on Eagle Street,” for details of the allegations, lawsuits, and even the following:

Immediately after City Council voted down the EMSDC funding, an overjoyed [Eugene] Ellison called his friends to his Ritz Building to celebrate. As this reporter stood on the steps of City Hall interviewing the Rev. Charles Mosley of Nazareth First Baptist Church about his disappointment with the vote, Ellison came running past, leaped into the air and gave a victory shout. After apologizing to the flabbergasted Mosley, Ellison gave a second gleeful shout before running off into the night.

Scary Charities

Before the Recession, I only had one job. Now, I have five. If job creation continues at the current rate, and I am able to total nine jobs, I’ll be earning what I did with one. That said, the next story may be related with anonymity.

I was sorting through the mail for one of my bosses, and I asked what he wanted to do with the AARP food drive bag. This particular boss is very generous with charitable contributions, but he told me it would be a cold day somewhere before he supported the AARP. My first impulse was to tell him the place had already frozen over, but for the sake of argument, I complied with his wish to send the bag straight to the recycle bin – too soon to notice the AFL-CIO was a co-sponsor.

“How Shall We Obliterate Automobiles?” Asked the Parkway

This is not to embark on speculation about the consciousness of a greenway, but the Hendersonville Times-News reports:

Both Buncombe County government and the Blue Ridge Parkway want to know more about people and their walking or biking habits.

They particularly want you to tell them where to stuff those cars:

But the parkway also needs to reducing [sic.] the problems parked cars can cause.

What a Differene a Foot Makes

Would you, for one day, want the brain of a legislator that allows you to econometrically analyze the impact one inch on allowable sign width, or ten feet in construction elevation, will make on the tax base? Why, not at all, you say. You much prefer to stay sober.

Elevation restrictions in the steep slopes ordinance proposed for the Polk County UDO would have banned all commercial development in Saluda Township. But they got shot down. The ordinance, according to County Commissioner Renee McDermott, has been modified in many merciful ways. For example, it now allows families to subdivide plots eight ways without conducting a hydrological study.

Almond Joy Don’t

The dance of words, otherwise known as politics, continues over the buzz job the Town of Franklin gave an ancient mound of ceremonial significance to the Cherokee. The town claimed it was enhancing the monument by preparing it for the planting of low-maintenance eco-grass. The newspapers insinuated the bald mound was disrespectful of a protected religion. Alderman Bob Scott tried to fix things by requesting the town send a letter of apology to the tribe. He got no traction, as his peers asserted the town owned the mound, so they could do whatever they pleased. What did pass were ordinances for proceeding with the planting of the eco-grass, prohibiting foot traffic on the mound, and dissolving the Mound Committee.

Set Your Alarm, Mr. VanWinkle

The local daily today reminded me of a friend of mine who has uncanny speed reading capabilities. He once explained a large part of his talent lied in the fact that one can tell ahead of time what most people are going to write. The stories are all the same except for the key words.

And so I ask, who expected the losers of Amendment One would not be rebelling; and if those losers were the proponents of gay marriage, they wouldn’t be escalating the We Do Campaign to demand marriage licenses from registers of deeds until forcefully removed? And who on earth could foresee another announcement that some study or another is predicting a humongous economy of prosperity right around the corner, the likes of which we’ve been reading in regular doses for three years or so?

By the way, I sympathize with the lack of material while politicians walk on eggshells. I myself wrote three dreadful pieces to fill up space for another media outlet last week.