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Do You Have a LuSonss for Your Chimpanzee Monkey?

In case you’ve wondered why you need a fishing license, this story tells it all. A kid was awarded a lifelong license in a contest.

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While Libertarians Strategize, Uninvited Cinderella Sits in the Corner

There wasn’t much news today, so I was hoping something would come out of the Asheville City Council meeting. About the only thing that came out of that was increased awareness that the city’s parking garages were filthy. Cecil Bothwell got past the euphemisms to say people were using the stairways as restrooms after the public restrooms closed. The city is therefore looking into doing something about that embarrassment.

In another matter, consideration of a request for $15,000 from Asheville LEAF was added to the agenda. Council members were told they had the staff reports at their seats. Questions were raised about why the request didn’t coincide with the official outside agency triage. Council was told the applicant had problems navigating the system. However, it was imperative they get the funding by Tuesday, because they would have to start entering into contracts. To that, I say we’ve been around the block enough that poor management or manipulation of the timing is no excuse for funding. Gwen Wisler and Jan Davis voted against the request because it would have been too unfair to sidestep existing processes. City Manager Gary Jackson did not want to recommend a budget amendment this late in the game, and so he said the $15,000 would have to be squeezed out of the general fund here and there.

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By Way of Clarification

Many a political idea is shot down these days as “idealistic.” There is nothing wrong with being idealistic. We should strive for ideals in leaps and bounds, though we normally are lucky to even make baby steps. When it comes to the law, it had better be as ideal as possible.

The sleight of hand the cool people use, which you probably already know but I’m slow to grasp, is “idealist” is applied not to lofty goals, but the claim that some crazy program or another is going to create an idealistic society. The application is double-standardized so a leftist can be shot down for being idealist in the sense of touting a utopian program, and then conservatives, with some presumption of equivalence in the term, are shot down for holding high aspirations.

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It’s a Zoo out There

The Hominy Creek Greenway was using slave goat labor for landscaping until an unrestrained dog attacked one of the slaves. The slave survived, but the slave labor program is now under review. The slave goats reportedly were better on the environment than pesticide.

A peripheral story is what humans use the greenway are also afraid of unrestrained dogs. An estimated 25 percent of conscious dogs using the greenway, in violation of the local animal ordinance, are not leashed to their owners because, the owners argue, the dogs are not the type that attack goats or small children. Yet people are getting bitten. Unleashed conservative dogs have been known to chew on greenies in the hopes of forcing them back into cars.

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It’s For Your Property Right – Psych!

An argument oft made against zoning is it is fragile. Planners cry it is essential to protect property rights, but once it is in place, influential people can always unprotect anything. A code change in downtown Hendersonville recently allowed microbrew pubs. Now, people who thought they were protected are afraid. Zoning advocates, however, are telling them the bars attract professional clientele. The one in question will even be vegan and animal conscious in other ways.

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Ibbity Bibbity – What?

If you enjoy reading a lot of nitpicky excuses that don’t make a lot of sense, this article on the proposed merger of Lake Junaluska into Waynesville might interest you.

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Calling Marvin Hamlisch

I try to focus on public policy while not shining a spotlight on human error. After all, one of the strongest arguments against strong public policy is human frailty.

Anyway, I have often speculated on the percentage of drug crime that is perpetrated by sting operators. This headline from one of the local papers today, conjures images of reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-sting operations:

Probation Oofficer Arrested in Drug Sting.

No link is provided to protect the identity of the apprehended reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-sting dude. (You’ll note he has one up on the operation.)

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Not Inclusive of All Wild Animals

City Council will return from summer hiatus next week. The agenda is published, and on it is a measure that would ban circuses and wild animal exhibitions from the US Cellular Center. I felt ousted, like I’d never have a chance at the big time, until I read “wild animals” were defined as “nonhuman . . . .”

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If You Can’t Create Jobs, Make a Logo

Henderson County, too, has a new logo.

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Complicated Race

The royal plural here* recently reported on the tragic departure of Maggie Valley’s Mayor Ron DeSimone. DeSimone died in a construction accident, and I think it was just super that, in contrast to stereotypes, this political figure was in private life actually engaging in trade, as opposed to shuffling papers, money, and “community energy.”

But as the sorrow winds down, Maggie has another problem. DeSimone died just thirty minutes after the filing deadline for the upcoming mayoral race. Logic indicates the contenders did not share his political philosophy, and so those of his stripe must now run as write-ins. Alderpeople can run as write-ins, but if one wins, he must vacate his alderperson seat, which would then be filled by appointment. Candidates running for alderperson can run both races, but then they will have to choose which seat to take if they win both. If Saralyn Price, who is mayor pro tem, is appointed to fill the mayoral seat for the unused portion of the term, she would be booted prematurely; she could only stay on the board if she were to run as a write-in. Price, who came to the board as a write-in in 2005, indicated it was time to mourn and premature to be strategizing like this.

*what I call myselves

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