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Archive for April, 2012

I Vote for Monthly Elections

Asheville Mayor Terry Bellamy has missed three city council meetings in a row. One of the local news outlets observed Cecil Bothwell, a council member who is also running for Congress, has not missed any meetings. Anyway, the next meeting of city council will be cancelled due to the primary elections. Applying the observations of Will Rogers and Mark Twain, but witlessly, it might serve us well to have elections more frequently.

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I stopped going to candidate debates some time ago. We all want to cut government without cutting benefits to the audience, and secretly without cutting benefits to the candidate. Then, we’ll get all bent out of shape over some sensationalized expenditure of a few dollars just to show we keep up with the mainstream media. Businessmen, like former Asheville City Councilman Bill Russell, who had experience in boring, tedious, and “technical” subjects like accounting, financial planning, and economics, just lack the popular appeal the smooth-talking sales sharks can muster.

Everybody wants the same thing, but they don’t feel an obligation to explain how they will do it. Usually, that has something to do with candidates promising to move pawns into their perfect places. To go with the flow and not look like a heel, we suspend reality and forget the pawns have ideas of their own and an ability to dream up infinite routes of resistance.

To enjoy a wild party, one must be stoned. To enjoy playing politics, one must be deluded with hopes of controlling other people. Politicians get high off duping the masses to elevate them to positions of power, while voters try to elevate dupes they can control to those positions.

We are told to study the issues, but the more I study them, the more out in left field I appear. WLOS is telling everybody to research Amendment I. It is only a paragraph, but one must “study” in order to anticipate how a win or loss will be interpreted, how that will feed into one or the other agenda, and at what point the game of humoring the other side becomes too dangerous. The average brain can surely pick that out of the hysterical hype.

Then, there is the general feeling that these voters, who are viewed as capable of tapping the end from the beginning in human nature, are hopelessly confused about redistricting lines. Those charged with pouring the mush under the skullcap are also troubled with the traumatic charge of educating voters.

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Scheduled Maintenance

If you’re an Asheville avid cyclist, you may plan your next breakdown for the Clingman Avenue roundabout.

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Everybody Must Get Stoned

Ask me if I care. In the news today are three scandalous articles about politicians. All the sinless people in the world; that is, those qualified to throw stones; are pretending they have never heard that every man has his price, and that they’re oblivious to the fact that people in high places have rivals that want to bring them down. Or is it that pulp fiction is now too expensive, so people have to get their smut on the cheap from newsstands. It keeps our minds off the calamitous economy.

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Can’t Program Lo-ove, No-no. No. Noooooooo?

Embracing sound bites while society rots, we are informed:

Polk County’s Community Child Protection Team said it reviewed four cases in 2011 and two of those might have been prevented if the children were required to be in school at an earlier age.

They “might” have been prevented by putting the wee little children in the commy indoctrination camps. Why not require children to be in the custody of a working daddy and a mommy who stays home baking apple pies for her man in high heels all day? That way, if junior wants to play the delinquent, wimpy mom can threaten him with his come-uppin’s when daddy comes home. How ‘bout an amendment on that one? Huh, huh? Instead of trying to be a civil society, we look after the protoplasm; videlicet, “Amendment One will deprive children of healthcare,” when, left to their under-supervised devices, the precious beebees are little monsters before the caregiver/custodian/gang recruiters can blink.

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A Rat or Two that Smell Like Fish

Media personnel are creating a stir to get people to sign a petition requiring Buncombe County DA Ron Moore to make public the findings of the audit conducted on the Asheville Police Department’s evidence room. The room was sealed some time ago after significant quantities of confiscated items sprouted legs and walked. Details have not been shared due to an ongoing criminal investigation. In the absence of access to the full body of facts (e.g., what is missing, what cases it impacts, potential distortions of system weaknesses and the repercussions thereof on various cases, psy-ops, etc.), one must ask exactly what the media celebrities want, besides cause to indirectly call the public stupid. For the record, Moore is not running in a primary election.

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Groceries Could Be Priority-Lower than Fancy Sneakers

Asheville has food deserts where people who are low-income find themselves food-insecure. To assist, city council gave a vague go-ahead to staff and the city’s Sustainability Advisory Committee on Energy and the Environment to follow recommendations of the clusters of the Asheville-Buncombe Food Policy Council.

P.S. The above strangeness has syntax-PC. The moral of the story is if you have good intentions with no way of non-coercively seeing them to fruition, create hyphenated expressions of the form noun-adjective, and avoid using modifiers to describe people. This will make you look like you really care, and absolve you from the guilt associated with trying something that has failed under a host of other names.

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The Man! Yeah, The Man! What He Said!

Spring’s here. Temperatures are mild, and KOA’s cost oh, so much.

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9.7 < 9.7 < 9.7

Is it just me, or does anybody else find it strange that the unemployment rate keeps dropping to 9.7%?

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Should We Be Concerned?

According to the Asheville Citizen-Times, the names and Social Security numbers of 8000 workers, non-workers, or perhaps even employers were mailed to the wrong place by the passive voice, exposing whomever was affected to identity theft. Evidently, the incident was reported, consistent with the 21st century work ethic of being able to mess up anything so long as one is able to document it. While we’re on the subject, if anybody out there doesn’t have my Social Security number by now, please email me for a free copy.

P.S. Like the dude in “The Tell-Tale Heart,” I am not mad. I am just reporting on the reports.

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April 2012
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