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Archive for January 1st, 2013

GIGO

Miss Reporter is reading the news. The Fiscal Cliff was avoided. That is good, because it would have been very terrible. Republicans were protecting the rich who need to be soaked for collecting piles of gold just to hear it trickle through their fingers. Poor people; especially, those with none of their own money, create jobs and provide green services. A preliminary report assuaged there would be no reduction in government expenditures. Goody gumdrops. I shall skip the details, as it is not advisable for anybody outside the CBO to practice maths.

However, the real news was an exclusive ET interview wherein Kim K said pregnancy is hard. Billions before made similar declarations, but the supermodel with the multicultural look set the record straight. Most importantly, you will note in the video a girl staring straight at the red carpet wallpaper.

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Possum Rights

Clay Logan, host of the annual Possum Drop, was, to make a long story short, ordered by PETA to stop afflicting the adorable balls of fur with emotional trauma. Multiple studies indicate slowly lowering a possum, in a Plexiglas cage, before a crowd of reveling humans, stigmatizes the little fufu, inevitably requiring heightened levels of diversity training down the road somewhere. At least, it must be so.

Well, Logan handled the matter well. He refused to tell the press what would be in the cage this year. Then, on the night of the event, he lowered an opaque box. Pressed to divulge its contents, Logan only spoke in riddles. Ha ha, funny, but the last laugh may be on Logan. After all, it is not fair he should use his human brain to do things the possum can’t. If we want equal rights with the animals, we should never, never try to use more than our animal brains.

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More for My Animal Brain

Just in case you’re one of those non-green hoarders who still go to the casino to buy gas – the state is encouraging even longer lines for people feeling lucky by introducing three new lottery games. Please note, everybody plays the lottery to improve children’s education. Just look at the strides the Education Lottery has made. The unfortunate side effect of payouts reducing revenues is a complex problem that government officials must needs be working hard to address.

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I’m Just Sitting Here Watching the Wheels Go Round and Round

I remember the old days, when one could research for days and then type a ten-page summary in a few hours. Now, it is not unusual for me to spend 2-3 hours blogging. Only about ten minutes goes into resesarch. The rest of the time is spent on slow downloads and reboots. If I must make a moron out of myself, there has got to be a less time-intensive way.

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How Prosperous Are We?

The economic recovery is so hand-over-fist, people can no longer afford the $3-5 a week charged by laundromats.

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